I had health issues from a young age, and at 19, I had what they classify as a nervous breakdown. We had just moved into a temporary rented house. Some days I was numb. Other days, pure panic. I was barely sleeping, hardly eating, and I remember constantly thinking,

Is my brain broken? What is wrong with me?

A Chinese Doctor who was a specialist in the nervous system helped me start functioning again. Over the years that followed, life kept moving. Marriage, relocating away from my family and friends, trying to hold everything together with strategies I thought were working. I missed my family & friends so much that one day I sat at a bus station, quietly working out how to return to my mom's. I never told anyone. I just kept going.

Then perimenopause hit, and it triggered something much bigger - childhood trauma, C-PTSD, and the discovery that I'm neurodivergent (AuDHD). It felt like Pandora's box had opened and was leaking into every part of my life. I remember one afternoon, curled up crying in bed, completely alone, praying all the pain would just end.

I decided I had to figure this out myself. I tried everything - Chinese Medicine, therapy, energy work, journalling, courses I never finished, books, more books. Each thing helped a little, then faded, and I'd go searching again. I still felt broken, like something was missing.

Then one ordinary day, reading an email I wasn't expecting anything from, one paragraph stopped me. That led me to the discovery of an idea about where that "not enough" feeling actually comes from. Once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it.

A few weeks later, my husband told me I seemed calmer than usual. In the past, that would have set me off. This time, I was able to tell him calmly what I had been learning.