I'm not a morning person. Someone once told me to "just become a morning person." Yeah, okay. Thanks for that helpful advice.

How about telling me to just accept who I am? That would have been so much more useful.

So many people talk about morning routines. I tried them. They didn't work for me. I tried doing it all at once, new habits, new schedule, new me, and it worked for about two days in a row. Does this sound familiar?

What I tried instead and why it actually worked

I decided I needed a completely new approach. I decided to try tiny habits, just one at a time, and be patient enough to let each habit establish itself before deciding what to add next.

It took me quite a few months. Especially because the habits I needed had to work on the days when I wasn't feeling physically or mentally strong. They had to work with my neurodivergent brain. Not against it.

And it has helped me so much. Not just for productivity but for something deeper. It helped me deal with the shame. It helped me let go of how I felt about the things I can't do. It helped me accept my situation and genuinely make the best of it.

The meltdown that made me find a better way

I used to find myself in a conundrum. Emotionally overwhelmed and physically exhausted at the same time. I couldn't think about what I was supposed to be doing; thinking felt like too much. I also couldn't switch off and do nothing.

This happened a lot, especially when I was hungry. I needed to eat but couldn't think what to cook and felt too exhausted to do it. I have food allergies, so grabbing cereal or a quick snack wasn't an option.

I would often have a meltdown, crying my eyes out. If my husband was at home, he would ask me what was wrong and then look at me like I was crazy when I replied: "I'm hungry." Then would come a string of questions I couldn't answer, which made the overwhelm and the meltdown even worse.

On a day when I was feeling better, I thought: I need to find a better way of dealing with this. And so began a lot of research and a lot of trial and error.

The 1% philosophy - and why tiny really is enough

Looking back now, I am amazed at how much progress I have made. The majority of days, I feel like a functioning adult, even when I am emotionally depleted or physically exhausted. This is because I have my micro-habit system to fall back on.

This is possible because of the way our brains can be reprogrammed. We have to start with teeny, tiny habits. Not like me at first, trying to change everything all at once. That just created even more overwhelm and frustration.

1% is enough.

I am currently reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, which says the habits we choose are easy to do and easy not to do. Repeating the same familiar patterns of suffering is easy. I have learned it is also easy to listen to positive thoughts (I use music or EFT videos), which then become familiar and easy to repeat.

The flexible micro habits system I have built for myself has significantly reduced the emotional weight of frustration, self-judgement and guilt. I do not miss those feelings one bit.

How to start building your own tiny habits system

Choose one thing you would really like to do regularly. If it feels too large or overwhelming, break it down into a lot of smaller steps and then practise them one at a time. Eventually, you will find yourself habit stacking, which builds naturally into the outcome you want.

It takes patience and persistence. I am proof that it works, and it makes a bigger difference than you realise. You have nothing to lose by trying it.

Some of these might be habits that other people take for granted: having a shower, getting dressed, making food, remembering to eat, remembering to drink water. That is okay. Those are real habits, and they count. (These are some of my personal habits )
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Not a complete overhaul. Not a 30-day challenge. Just one tiny shift, repeated, until it becomes part of you.

As a neurodivergent person who has a lot of experience with Resistance to Change, this is the only thing that has actually helped my brain move forward with sustainable progress, in a way that feels easy and kind to myself.

Tiny or micro habits may seem insignificant and ineffective in the moment. With the compound effect, they have made an enormous difference in my life, with my emotional and mental health. And I'm sure they can do the same for you.

Ready for your first tiny shift?

Download the free Serene Easement Habits Menu and start with just one thing today. I'm sure you will not have considered some of the suggested habits before. 😍

About the Author

Hi, I'm Serena, a neurodivergent woman (AuDHD) navigating perimenopause one micro habit at a time.

For a long time, I thought the overwhelm, the brain fog, and the feeling that everything was just a little too much were things I had to push through alone. Then I started learning how to create my own tiny habits that didn't demand more than I had to give. Slowly, I began to find calm in the chaos.

This blog is my way of sharing what's helped me: the tips, tools, and techniques that make life feel more manageable when your brain and your hormones are both doing their own thing.e Habits Menu